An Unhelpful Guide to the Silmarillion
This was inspired by all of the unhelpful guides to Kpop groups, I hope this is as fun to watch as it was to make
it's been too long,
(i wish he was here with me)#userlauran
reminder that my the untamed/mdzs blog (+multifandom occasionally) is @morifinwes!
the silmarillion is, like, the opposite of found family
instead of “we’re not related but we’re still family” it’s “okay yes TECHNICALLY we’re related but consider this, FUCK YOU”
The Silmarillion, aka You Will Get Attached To A Literal Murderer Whose Name Translates To “Sexy Ginger”
your elves is problematic
silmarillion fans talking to lotr fans
Some resources for Silmarillion fic writers, artists, and general enthusiasts
I thought I’d gather in a post some websites that I have found useful when writing my fics.
The Silmarillion, full text. Includes some weird typos probably due to some type of scanned-pdf-to-text conversion software, but those are easily spotted.
Laws and Customs of the Eldar, full text from
The History of Middle-earth:
Morgoth’s Ring, scanned PDF. This essay written by J.R.R. Tolkien, with commentary by Christopher Tolkien, includes information on the elven life cycle and marriage, roles of men and women, Noldor naming customs, the fëa and hröa, death and rebirth, and the complex matter of Finwë & Míriel & Indis. Whether you want to write ‘LaCE’-compliant fic or not, it’s interesting reading.
The Silmarillion Writers’ Guild
Character of the Month Biographies are great, comprehensive summaries of what Tolkien wrote about a particular character, complete with quotations and references, with some commentary. They’re by many different writers so they differ from one another but all are useful when you want to learn about a character.
Tolkien Illustrator’s First Aid Kit: Elves by Alqualaure on DeviantArt. A collection of character descriptions from across The Silmarillion, Unfinished Tales and HoME. Includes Tolkien’s contradicting descriptions, so you can decide which to use.
Parf Edhellen Dictionary of Tolkien’s languages gathers definitions from multiple other sites. Easy to use.
RealElvish.net Name lists are an excellent resource for finding a name for your OC. I love the Quenya lists, because the names are sorted into categories by meaning and when you find one you like, you can click it and find many different versions to choose from according to your preference.
In the future, archaeologists discover the Lord of the Rings series, and mistake them for religious texts
No, wait, that’s what We did already
We are the tolkenians or better offer
The concept of the Silmarillion is fucking wild
You open your door one day. It’s Satan. He wants, like, your fucking laptop or a really impressive drawing you did or something. When you say, “Get thee gone Satan,” he murders your father and steals your drawing and also destroys the sun.
And then you try to borrow your neighbors’ lovingly-restored vintage car so you can go chase after Satan to get your drawing back, but your neighbors say no, so you murder them, steal the car, and then total it on purpose when you get there.
And only later remember that one of your kids was still in the back seat. But whatevs, you didn’t like his name anyway and you’ve got a spare who looks just like him.
actuallyfeanor
And then you rush off to kick Satan’s butt but his homies kill you, so you spontaneously combust after a dramatic monologue.
galadriel’s character arc is great because she basically goes from Punk Rock Rebel Princess to Calm Helpful Badass Wine Mom over the course of three ages
actuallyfeanor
Can’t overthrow the government when you are the government
You either die a Feanor or live long enough to become a Galadriel
actuallyfeanor
“Madness and greatness are two sides of the same coin. Every time a new Targaryen Noldo is born, the gods toss the coin in the air and the world holds its breath to see how it will land.”
The Noldoli answered to neither Gods, nor men.
A Noldo alone in the world….is a terrible thing….
I misread someone’s “I don’t own the Silmarillion” disclaimer as “I don’t own the Silmarils” and legit my only thought was a heartfelt “good” as though the Silmarils are a real thing and all of us are in constant danger of being murdered by the Sons of Fëanor if we don’t tell everyone on the internet we don’t own them
For the record, I’m neither hiding nor hoarding, neither in my hand holding nor casting aside any Silmarils over here, so don’t y'all come looking.
actuallyfeanor
“By being in this fandom, you confirm that you are not hoarding the Silmarils, you are in no way affiliated to people who have hidden Silmarils, you are not following the fandom on behalf of someone who hath in hand taken a Silmaril or an associate of someone who afar has casteth a Silmaril. To the best of your knowledge, information and belief the Silmarils will not make their way into the hands of Morgoth or Anish Kapoor.”
